


Petty Vengeances

by esteefee



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gods & Goddesses, Challenge Response, Crack Treated Seriously, First Time, M/M, Porn With Plot, Wingfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:21:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23626036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/esteefee/pseuds/esteefee
Summary: In which Rodney is the Greek God of Petty Vengeance. But somehow smiting has lost its flavor.
Relationships: Rodney McKay/John Sheppard
Comments: 34
Kudos: 129
Collections: Romancing McShep 2020





	Petty Vengeances

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LogicGunn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LogicGunn/gifts).



> ...whose prompt this was for the [Romancing McShep Fest 2020](https://romancingmcshep.dreamwidth.org/). Sorry it's so late, buddy!
> 
> Beta by Em-Kellesvig.

Rodney McKay, the Greek God of Petty Vengeance, ate a fistful of grapes with one hand while smiting a motorcycle with the other. The foolish mortal left it running at the curb to warm up, and the droning sound intruded annoyingly on Rodney's thoughts on the gravitational constant. Smote with lightning, the engine gave a harsh splutter, spat out a plume of smoke, and gave up the ghost.

Rodney smiled meanly and chewed another luscious agiorgitiko.

"I saw that," a sly, smirky voice drawled as John suddenly appeared to the sound of wings.

Rodney spit out some seeds. "Damn it, Sheppard. I just had this mantle cleaned." He brushed fretfully at his himation. "You saw nothing."

"I saw you smiting without an appeal." John took up a pedestal. 

"And so what if I did?" Rodney raised his chin. 

"So, you know you're already in it with Elizabeth for taking liberties with your revenge yesterday."

"That? Please. Mortals are so unoriginal with their revenge these days, wanting to see people lose their jobs or get run over by a car. Whatever happened to giving them pubic lice or sawing them in half lengthwise?"

"Or feeding them to a lion?" John asked wryly.

"Exactly," Rodney said with satisfaction. "Is it my fault Mr. Dennesy couldn't think up a more unique revenge than wishing his wife's pet Papillon would run away?"

"And so the dog did," John said. "Right into the lion pit."

"You aren't allowed to bring pets to the zoo," Rodney said. "It's the rule."

"Well that's hardly poor Fido's fault."

"That's not his name," Rodney said, then bit his lip and looked down.

"Rodney..."

"She didn't deserve him anyway, all right? She took him to the zoo and put him in danger. Poor little Papi could have been killed." Rodney pulled the tiny dog out of his robe and kissed him on the nose. Papi was such a sweetie but he did get cold easily and the air was chilly and thin up here on Olympus. Rodney tucked him back within the material.

John sighed heavily. "I'm trying to keep you from getting busted, buddy, but you're not making it easy."

"Well what about you, Mr. Speedy? I hear you've been rubbing up with the mortals lately. What's rule number one, again?" 

"Eavesdrop on the astronauts long enough to learn mission essential details so you can hitch a ride on the next space flight?" John asked innocently.

"Sheppard." 

"What? I'm the God of Speed and Fluid Dynamics. How weak is it that mere mortals have gone faster than I have?"

"Well." Rodney coughed. "You're still the fastest god? So there's that." Rodney envied him his secondary realm, in any event. It was so boring, being stuck with the same responsibilities all the time. 

"Yeah, sure," John said sarcastically. "Only, the mortals keep confusing me with their worship for Hermes because...he has wings on his helmet! Only his are pathetic and tiny, not like these babies." John spread his arms and his wings appeared, shining dark and glorious, and Rodney had to swallow back a sigh of bliss. Normally, John was as pretty as Adonis, but throw in his wings and Rodney had to restrain himself from climbing him like Zeus on a tree nymph. 

"How do you plan to hide out in that tiny cockpit without being seen?" Rodney asked worriedly.

"Who needs a cockpit? I'm gonna ride it like a rocket."

"Are you nuts?"

"Kidding! I'm kidding. No, I'm working with Zelenka on an invisibility cloak. Then I just have to swap out some weight...they're taking up some containers of ashes for space burials..."

"This is madness. You realize that, right? Just how do think you'll get home, Sheppard?"

"Hey, it's no crazier than you being smited by Zeus for racking up too many penalty points. What's that about?" John leaned forward. "Bored with eternal life?"

"No." Being in love with his best friend wasn't boring, more lonely with a dash of poignant. It was actually quite exciting. "I'm not bored, all right? Stop giving me the look."

"What look?"

"You have a look you get when you're going to jump into yet another newfangled transportation device and break a speed record. The last time involved a stolen Air Force spy plane as I recall."

"I gave it back!"

"Eventually. After I had a heart attack."

"Rodney," John said, giving him a fond look. "Now you sound like a mortal."

Rodney felt his face heat. "I do not." His senses pinged, and he raised a hand. "One minute. I'm getting a request." He couldn't believe his ears. "Oh, please. Try a little bit harder, would you, people?"

"What's the revenge?"

"A teenager. She wants her rival's hair to fall out."

"No lice?"

"No lice. Not even a good case of acne."

John tsked. "Kids today."

Rodney raised his hand and waved, then grinned evilly. 

"Rodney," John said slowly. "What did you do?"

"Oh, I gave the girl who made the request a small case of psoriasis for her unoriginality."

John put his face in his hands. "Buddy, buddy."

"What? There's no way Elizabeth was watch—"

"Rodney Constantine McKay!"

"Crap." John swept into a bow. "My queen."

"John." Elizabeth, Queen of the Gods and the Goddess of Diplomacy nodded regally, then fixed a glare right at Rodney. 

He ducked his head. "My queen. Um. How are you today." He bowed as an afterthought.

"I was doing very well until I looked out among my subjects and saw you taking liberty once again with your responsibilities."

"Just the tiniest of liberties, and a lesson well-meant, Highness." 

"So I see." She hummed and shook her head. "I don't know quite what to do with you, Rodney. You are impatient and distracted lately. You once excelled at your job. You dealt out the most delicious vengeance upon request and delighted in it." She flicked a meaningful glance John's way and then back to Rodney, and Rodney held his breath. She mustn't know. She couldn't. 

But she was the Goddess Supreme. Quite possibly, she did. 

"I know, your Highness! It's ridiculous. Forgive me, but I can explain—"

"Can you?"

"I believe I can, my queen," John said, coming over and putting a hand on Rodney's shoulder. 

Rodney would die. Though he was immortal, certainly there was a clause for absolute heartbreak, and he was about to hit it. 

"You see, Rodney recently acquired a pet—a puppy—and the dog is distracting him from his work. I told you, didn't I, Rodney? That the dog was a bad idea?" John nodded urgently.

"Oh, yes, yes," Rodney responded, reaching into his robe to pull out Papi. "Yes, you see, your Highness—" 

Elizabeth interrupted him, cooing, "Oh, what a dear, dear thing!" She reached out to take Papi from him. "What a sweet little creature. You can't honestly be saying..."

"Papi," Rodney supplied.

"...Papi, how cute! Papi is making you so irritable?" 

"Oh, no," Rodney hastened to assure her. "But I'm a little short on sleep, you know, just because he's so cute and he's been keeping me up a bit."

"Well, of course! He's in a new environment. He needs special care. Do you think you need some help with that? I'd be happy to help you take care of him." 

"Oh, I...well." It was true he'd never planned to keep the dog, only to rescue him from Mrs. Dennesy's clutches. "If you could... He gets cold," Rodney added. "I give him an extra mantle at night. And he'll only eat the very finest venison."

"Of course! Of course," Elizabeth said eagerly. "I'll give him the very best care. Come with me now, Papi," she crooned as she spirited off. "We'll make you a bed of clouds."

"That went a lot better than I expected," John said.

"No kidding."

"I'm sorry about Papi."

"Don't be. I'm more into cats, anyway."

"We'll have to find you one," John said, putting a warm arm around Rodney's shoulder.

Rodney pulled away. John planned to be an astronaut. Who knew if he'd ever return from space. 

John frowned. "We need to find you another job," he said thoughtfully. "Dealing out petty vengeance is fun, but you've got too much going on up here to be satisfied." He tapped Rodney's forehead.

Rodney's face heated. "I'm...I'll... I'm working on a Theory of Everything!" 

John smiled widely, his dimples appearing. "Sounds pretty darn important."

"It is! I think, well, Physics could be my new realm. If Elizabeth weren't so pissed at me," he added, suddenly dejected again. She'd never go for it.

"Leave that to me. I'm pretty sure I can trade her an invisibility cloak. Then she can spy on Zeus and see what that jerk gets up to." 

"He's such a dick."

"No argument here." John rolled his eyes. "The last woman he went for, he disguised himself as a fax machine." 

"Unbelievable." Rodney snorted, and John gazed at him fondly. Some indefinable organ in Rodney's chest broke wide open at John's affectionate look.

"You don't even know if you can survive in space," Rodney burst out. "No other god has been out there. I know Hephaestus tried once, the hack, and you know how that turned out."

"I'll be fine—"

"You can't know that, you selfish jerk! I don't care how fast the mortals go, they're just mortals, who cares about them?"

"Who said I did?" John smiled for some reason. 

Rodney found it unbearable. "You sit there smiling with your smirky smile and your gorgeous, fluffy wings, and your perfectly fitted mantle and your muscular thighs—"

"It's hard to sit without thighs." John's smile had turned into an outright grin.

"Stop smiling at me." Rodney flipped his thumb and John's hair went flat.

John put his hand up to his head and rubbed a little. "Did you just vengeance my hair?"

"Yes." Rodney bit his lower lip. 

John laughed. "Thanks. I can't seem to do anything with it myself." 

"Oh, to Hades with your stupid hair." Rodney wiggled his fingers and John's hair went back to its former ridiculous state, waving in the thin Olympus air as if it had a mind of its own. 

"You're really pissed at me, huh?" John said, stepping closer, and Rodney shivered a little at the proximity. The God of Speed always ran a bit hotter, and Rodney appreciated the warmth of his body. "Are you cold?" John asked.

"Maybe. A little," Rodney said. John always worried about him, asking if he was cold, or if he was getting in trouble, or if he had enough ambrosia to eat. 

"A little, huh." John swept his wings open, bringing them forward to embrace them both. 

"Oh, uh, this is cozy," Rodney said, dizzy with the scent of John and the warmth of his wings, and feeling his body pressed so close. "Really cozy."

"Yeah." John leaned forward and nuzzled along Rodney's jawline, an unmistakable gesture. 

"Oh, sweet Athena," Rodney whispered.

"Hey, forget her," John joked. "Keep your eyes on me." 

"Yes, of course. Um, so you should know: for the past thousand years or so I've had an impossible penchant for your stupid face."

"No...I mean, yes, now I do, you dumbass," John said. "And ditto, a fondness. I-I love you, you turdball."

"Oh! Well, that's..." Quite a bit more than Rodney expected, even after millennia of chasing after John's footsteps. "I didn't realize."

"Yeah, I got that. I thought I'd have to shoot myself out of a rocket."

"You-you were bluffing? I can't believe you! Go sit on a sickle and spin!"

John laughed and then kissed him again, his lips so soft and tugging at Rodney's, begging Rodney to open his mouth. 

Rodney made him work for it, every tender, soft lick of John's tongue zinging down Rodney's spine like electricity, until finally he opened up just a little and John forced his way in with a low, desperate moan, his wings fluttering around them, lifting them both up and setting them on the nearest cloud. 

"Nice trick," Rodney said. "You do this with the Meliae?"

"Only smart-mouthed ones who can flatten my hair," John said, and bit little kisses down Rodney's neck. "Think you can do something about our clothes?"

"Hmm?" The nibbling was far too distracting.

"Our clothes, Rodney. I really hate them. I'm thinking horrible, petty, vengeful thoughts about your chiton and himation in particular."

"Ohh," Rodney said, grinning. "That's very clearly a request." He wiggled his fingers, and their mantles and undergarments flicked off and burst into flames.

John laughed. "You've got style, all right." He looked down at Rodney and then back up into his eyes. Rodney could see the moment humor left him for something else, something wilder from the hills where Pan cavorted. "Gonna eat you up," John said, and then leaned down to do it, his mouth moving hungrily over Rodney's throat and chest, his teeth scraping Rodney's nipples until Rodney whimpered.

"Beast," Rodney whispered, pawing at John's hair and coaxing him down where he wanted him, oh, yes, there. Right there, where John's mouth sucked him in so hot and sweet, his tongue working underneath Rodney's cock until Rodney's hips jerked.

John lifted his head. "You want me to fuck you?"

"Um, yes? Forever?"

John grinned wolfishly and drew a figure. The cloud adjusted beneath Rodney, raising his hips and cradling under his knees, pulling them high.

"Oh, my," Rodney said, feeling very exposed. He relaxed into the cloud's embrace.

John looked down at him and his eyes dilated, wings stooping like a falcon's going after prey. Rodney glanced down and saw that John's generous cock was glistening with nectar. John reached down and slicked his fingers with it and rubbed them over Rodney's hole.

Rodney closed his eyes, reveling in the feeling of John's fingers and the tingle of nectar inside him. "Ohh. Please."

"Please, what?" John said, mischief coloring his tone. He circled his fingers deeper, and Rodney yelped.

"Please stop messing around and fuck me or I'll go have a word with Hercules?"

John's fingers stopped pleasuring him. "You wouldn't."

"Nah. He's a blockhead."

Grinning, John leaned forward and joined his dick with his fingers, stretching Rodney impossibly wide for a moment as he eased his way in. Rodney groaned in delicious torment, filled inch by glorious inch. 

"You feel me?" John said.

"I'm not sure how I could miss it," Rodney slurred. "But by all means, keep it coming." He opened his eyes a bit and saw, hazily, that John's wings had extended over them both in a glorious, sheltering cloud. 

Rodney reached up and stroked his hand down John's face, and John turned his head to catch Rodney's fingers in a kiss, still slowly thrusting with his hips, obviously trying to make Rodney go mad with pleasure.

"Right there," Rodney panted. "Just like that."

"Like this?" John said, rocking in a gentle rhythm, over and over, his wings fluttering a cooling breeze over their sweaty skin. 

"Oh, gods, gods, gods," Rodney said, and reached down to fondle himself. John watched avidly, a lustful smile on his face, as if he were memorizing how Rodney liked to touch himself. It was too delicious, and Rodney whispered, "John," and began to come, the pleasure rolling in waves from his ass to his groin and up through his chest. He stroked himself frantically, squeezing every last drop of sensation from his dick.

Through it, John kept fucking him evenly, steady as a hammer, until the sensation became almost too much, and Rodney patted his arm. John slowed and let him rest, his hard cock still holding Rodney open. 

John painted a sign on Rodney's arm, and the cloud shifted so he sat upright. He groaned with contentment as John's cock shifted deeper within him. 

Giving him a satisfied kiss, John said, "How about like this?" He bounced Rodney experimentally on his lap.

"Oh, yes. That will do...nicely," Rodney said, and then John commenced to fuck him silly, bouncing him on his cock like a doll, flapping his wings as leverage as he drove Rodney up and down on his shaft. Rodney's soft cock rubbed against John's belly until it wasn't soft anymore, and before long, Rodney grabbed John's shoulders and added a circular writhing that had him close to coming again.

"Please. Please. Please," Rodney said. He couldn't think straight.

John groaned, "Rodney," and his seed spilled within him, pulsing inside him, and Rodney whimpered and shot his essence between them. 

"Nice," John said. After a brief pause of reflection, he drew a symbol in jism on Rodney's belly and it disappeared, along with the sweat and nectar and other mess on his person. John's wings tucked back into his shoulders.

"Thanks," Rodney said, sitting up. "And 'nice'? That's all you have to say?"

John blushed. "Oh, I just meant, you achieved a lot of height for a second emission." 

"Ah. Thanks." Rodney rubbed his palms together nervously.

"John." "Rodney."

"You go first," Rodney said graciously.

"Um. This was... That was..." John grabbed his hair in frustration. "I already told you how I feel. Why is this so awkward?"

"Oh, right. Um. Maybe because we were so busy fucking, I forgot to tell you. That I, ah. Feel the same. Love you, too."

"You do?" John lit up like lightning bolt.

"Of course I do! Do you imagine I smite astronauts who get equations wrong for just anyone?"

"That was you? You were worried about me?"

"Maybe...yes, of course. I can't have you flying into space on a broken rocket and getting lost."

John grabbed him and tackled him down into the cloud. Rodney pretended to fight it, but it was really nice and soft but firm, and he liked having John handle him. He finally acceded when John had him tucked under his arm, hair messed up from too many noogies.

"I do love you, you idiot," Rodney said.

"So maybe we'll build a rocket together. Skip the other guys. And that way you'll be a shoo in for the Astrophysics realm." 

Rodney squeezed John's arm in delight.

"I guess we'll have to move in together," John said nonchalantly. "Since we'll be working together every day."

"I guess so," Rodney said, his heart beating fast. "On one condition."

"What's that?"

"You make us a cloud bed. Extra firm support."

"Your wish is my command."

.....................................  
April 12, 2020  
San Francisco, CA


End file.
